Spoken Word

This Is An Old Spoken Word Poem I Wrote A While Ago

I Could Forgive You If You Were In Jail 

if you were bound by shackles and couldn’t make bail
I could forgive you if you slipped up maybe one or twice 
for something so petty that you got 10 yrs to life
cause then that would mean that the bars were in the way. the walls were in the way,  
and THOSE were the reason those calls never came
and it would mean that you truly cared 
incarceration was the one and only reason why you were never there
i could forgive you if you were in jail cause then…
       it was just the chains that held you down
the chairs and the bars 
the cuffs and the guards
THEY were the reasons why you weren’t around
That would explain why i didn’t know what to do 
that one night when it was dark and he pulled me into his room 
you’re voice wasn’t there reminding me that i am a queen, 
my body, my insides, should only be his dream
a dream, a wish, an achievement to accomplish
but instead  I laid whimpering I don’t think I want…..this.   
you’re voice never warned “all boys want is sex. 
they charm you seduce you then on to the next” 
But you’re not in jail instead you’re 10 mins away close enough to love me, hug me, or utter my name
and you still weren’t there to show that you cared 
there were no bars or chains all of these years
you can’t blame it on the cuffs the guards, the sentence the walls
it was your choice to disappear and not care about me at all
so that night when it was dark and he pulled me into the room
I laid still stuck cause i don’t know what to do
Daddy was never there. No real man had showed me  what love was 
so it seemed normal to lay there and make sure he used rubbers….right
wrong no just because you never cared 
doesn’t mean i don’t have a father who was always there
so that night when it was dark and i got pulled in the room
and i sat thinking about daddy wondering what he would tell me to do
He, my father, placed his hands on me reminding me that i am still that queen
so whether you’re in jail, held by the chains or living in a house only 10 minutes away
i forgive because my heavenly father came and found a way to suppress all you’re pain
all the pain and the hurt and the tears that you caused 
my father found a way to releave me of it all
so i could forgive you if you were in jail , 
but even since you aren’t God’s paid you’re bail.